Dr Phil seems to have fluttered some hyper-sensitive dovecotes by tweeting the following survey question:
Seems like a perfectly harmless and legitimate question, does it not?
Yet somehow it caused such an uproar that the good doctor, or his Twitter staff, saw no alternative but to delete it “almost immediately” according to The Daily News, which promptly ran a story headlined “Dr. Phil sexual assault tweet sparks outrage, prompts petition”.
While hooking up with plastered tail may indeed constitute a form of sexual assault—after all, being intoxicated impairs a person’s capacity to make sensible and mature decisions no different than does being a minor, hence the concept of statutory rape, which applies irrespective of whether or not consent was given—millions of guys obviously don’t think so, a circumstance that confers legitimacy upon attempting to ascertain the prevalence of either point of view and touch off a discussion.
Sympathetic as I am to the position that the more lubricated (in the sense of liquored up or drugged) the female, the more having sex with her resembles an act of rape on account of her reduced ability to accord meaningful consent (although one could argue that unless some nefarious suitor forced the booze down her gullet or surreptitiously laced her Shirley Temple with roofies, she consented to entering that state of diminished faculties by electing to get smashed in the first place), my primary reason for why I don’t sleep with drunk girls derives from more self-centered than legalistic or gentlemanly considerations:
By abstaining from intoxicated flesh, I eliminate the risk of later being confronted with the unflattering intelligence, whether by being told outright or by getting an unspoken impression to that effect, that she never would have been with me had she not had her brains on a leash at the time; or, even worse, that her recollection is foggy; neither of which I’d be particularly eager to learn after the fact, and this may well betoken low self-esteem on my part.
Perhaps, unlike myself, a genuinely confident man does not feel the need to be desired on a personal level by someone that has all her wits about her. Perhaps my fragile male ego longs to be stroked in a way that an even moderately zonked-out lady would not be able to accomplish.
Be that as it may, for the life of me I’ve never been able to relate to other men’s eagerness to get girls drunk, for to vanquish female resistance by way of clouding her judgment is precisely what I don’t want. On the contrary, instead of ever feeling any desire to ply an attractive sober woman with mind-numbing substances, the sight of an attractive drunk one invariably makes me want to pour a bucket of ice water over her head. (Granted, doing so ups the odds of spending the night at the local police station rather than with her.)
In the interest of full disclosure, I despise intoxication of all types and at all levels. For that reason alone I tend to steer clear of individuals that do not appear to be in a condition to safely operate a motor vehicle, and that includes drunk chicks at a bar.
On a related note, it pains me to witness the ineluctable decline of physical beauty being unnecessarily hastened via self-destructive behavior, which is yet another reason for my not finding particularly appealing the sight of an otherwise alluring young woman knocking back one vodka tonic after the other.
My personal antipathy toward inebriation aside, is it OK to have sex with a drunk girl?
Unless you know her really well and are reasonably certain that her consent would have been forthcoming either way, I’m voting a resounding NO on Dr Phil’s survey. Whether or not exploiting a woman’s booze-addled haze for personal gratification amounts to rape, doing so doesn’t exactly strike me as a badge of good character. (Due to brewer’s drop, the reverse scenario seems less likely. As a former girlfriend once told me with an if-you-know-what-I-mean kind of tone in her voice, “There’s really no point in trying to have sex with a drunk guy.”)
Do you think it’s OK to have sex with drunk girls?
(In spite of my “sexual assault question” being identical to Dr Phil’s, I am confident that mine won’t spark quite as much outrage as did his—if only because of my much smaller, um, audience—and so I won’t have to delete it anytime soon.)