Royal Tidings

By Cyberquill 09/14/20124 Comments

French embassies all over the world have been put on high alert in anticipation of violent protests over the publication of topless photographs of Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge, by a French magazine.

Meanwhile, in order to diffuse the situation and refocus the public’s attention, Queen Elizabeth II, acting as Commander-in-Chief of the British Armed Forces, has quickly arranged for Ms Middleton to join Prince “Whatever Happens in Vegas Does Not Stay in Vegas” Harry on his combat tour in Afghanistan.

In a preëmptive move designed to mitigate the impact of inadvertent future expositions of royal skin, as well as to put an end to the relatively inefficient practice of having nude pictures taken on an individual basis, the House of Windsor has agreed to pose for a group photograph in the buff.


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  • Richard

    I find the umlaut more titillating than the thought of that.

    Would we have been shocked, do you think, if Kate had been photographed through her bedroom window? If not, what next?

    I suppose it’s natural for the French paparazzi to bring unpleasant associations to Royal minds.

    • Cyberquill

      It’s not an umlaut. It’s a diaeresis.

      We may have been shocked if Kate had been photographed through her bedroom window playing strip pool with Harry while both of them were having a losing streak. 

      Personally, I think Kate went topless in order to provoke a war with France. It was probably William who masterminded the operation. 

      • Richard

        I’m too genteel to mention that word.

        Your theory is probably right

        Humour him.

        • Cyberquill

          Trema then. My final offer. 

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