Some folks were born one sex but would like to be the other. More precisely, they feel they are the opposite sex, but owing to some sort of cosmic misunderstanding or genetic snafu, their soul/spirit/essence or whatever came to inhabit the wrong body. Now their hormones find themselves in a perpetual state of war with their external anatomy, thus resulting in a painfully conflicted existence. Something like that. So if a man perceives himself to be trapped in a female body or vice-versa, and the psychological distress over such mismatch impairs his/her daily functioning, that person is diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder.
Apparently, GID has been officially classified as a medical condition such that, in some cases, sex change operations may even be tax-deductible as medical rather than cosmetic procedures. Translation: you and I foot the bill. At least part of it. And that’s fine. Nothing wrong with helping the sick.
My aim is not to dispute or even to debate the merits of such classification. I do, however, contend that if GID indeed amounts to a genuine medical condition, then my DDD is a genuine medical condition as well.
I honestly don’t know if I’m joking or not, as I find it increasingly difficult to tell what is and what isn’t a joke when it comes to the ever growing lexicon of newly discovered mental health disorders: Attention Deficit Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, Defiance Disorder, Intermittent Explosive Disorder, Pregnancy Disorder, Fear-of-Tap-Dancing-Unicorns Disorder, and so on and so forth. Chances are that by now, listing the symptoms and behaviors that do not indicate a mental disorder as defined by the DSM (“Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders”) would take up far fewer pages than listing those that do. In order to save paper, the American Psychiatric Association might as well switch over to publishing a slim and streamlined Diagnostic and Statistical Brochure of Mental Health in lieu of the current 943-page tome of disorders (which famously ends with a catch-all disorder nebulously styled personality disorder not otherwise specified).
Am I exaggerating? I hope so.
So what exactly is the fundamental difference between, say, Gender Identity Disorder and my DDD which justifies the exclusion of the latter from the pantheon of accepted medical conditions?
DDD, of course, stands for Dollar Deficit Disorder. The disease manifests as feeling irrevocably trapped in excruciatingly agonizing circumstances on account of being perpetually broke. (That’s three adverbs in one sentence. I know. Sue me.) My illness interferes with my daily functioning in several ways—for starters, an almost complete inability to fall asleep at a godly hour. And sometimes I’m literally shaking, especially upon accidentally glancing at my bank statement. (The balance itself is quite large. What worries me is the little minus-sign in front of it.)
Being afflicted with a medical condition is the only viable explanation for my being so galactically incapable of getting my finances in order:
After all, I’m punctual and reliable to a fault, I have no intoxication-related issues whatsoever, I’m not much of a shopper, I’m fairly well-endowed (IQ-wise, that is), I harbor a pronounced creative streak, plus I’m an extremely hard worker, as evidenced by having waited tables full-time for 14 long years, up to 60 hours per week, with nary a day of calling in sick—the only activity, unbearably dull and mind-numbing as it was, that ever enabled me to pay my bills at all.
I even have a high-school diploma and some dopey little business degree.
So why would a basically intelligent individual waste 14 years of his prime toiling away at a job he hates as much as I hate working in restaurants, just to end up more penniless than he started out, unless he has some type of mental disorder? Because said individual is obviously very sick, and it is not his fault.
Therefore, my suffering equals that of the person with Gender Identity Disorder. Both of us feel hopelessly strait-jacketed and hence severely hobbled in our ability to pursue happiness in life, one as a result of being the wrong sex, the other due to an inability to generate even a modest income in a manner that seems preferable to serving life on Riker’s Island. Actually, a GID victim is in a slightly better position, for at least there’s a surgical procedure to take care of hir (hes) problem. What’s the treatment for my DDD other than being administered threadbare advice of the you-can’t-always-do-what-you-love-and-sometimes-you-have-to-bite-the-bullet-and-maybe-you-could-get-another-restaurant-job-just-for-now-until-you-get-back-on-your-feet-and-then-you’ll-figure-out-bla-bla-bla variety? There is none.
To add insult to injury, no one takes my illness seriously. Instead, I’m being referred to as “lazy.”
Bottom line, if the guy who wants to be a gal has a disease, then so have I. And if his/her treatment is tax-deductible, then I, likewise, should be allowed to deduct my yearly expenses for Hershey’s bars and M&Ms that help me cope with my distemper.
And yes, I do accept donations.
Posted in Career & Personal
RSS
ETJ
The more I read your post, the more I realized that I have 13 disorders. No, 18; actually more like 108. Well, depending on the latest rule change, which seems to lump 19 of my previous disorders into one new ueber-disorder, but simultaneously reclassifies former orders into disorders, so that my net total still rises slightly, to 205.
Your disorder, however, does not count, unless you also have TDS, time-deficit syndrome, which, when co-symptomatic with DDS, dollar deficit syndrome, IS a disorder (simply called “disorder”).
We all have Time Deficit Disorder, commonly known as MD (“Mortality Disorder”).
Someone with your wit and humor certainly ought not to be suffering from DDD.
Ah, the good old is-ought dichotomy. Of course no one ought to suffer from a medical condition that forces them to languish away in perpetual destitution, just as no one ought to have Gender Identity Disorder or be allergic to sunlight, strawberries, or peanuts. Destiny, alas, deals many hands that seem unfair.
i would commiserate but i hesitate to guess tone. there is no danger of unsolicited advice since i have none to give.
being, most likely 14 years longer than you in the condition of DDD and with a child to support i can only tell you what goes through my mind at times. i have received donations without guilt or shame. and i say without jest that there are more than a few that equate laziness with financial poverty without just cause.
some thoughts:
doing a job well and holding a job well are two different skills. there is a proportionate relationship between the two skills which i have yet to discover. i have seen my share of people better at holding their jobs than doing their jobs.
perhaps this is too obvious, but hard work does not always correlate to high wage. even more obvious is that punctuality holds little merit for many high paying jobs. when i was self-employed, the client set deadlines, but i had great flexibility in that i billed for the hours i worked.
humans were meant to be in pairs. most things we face in life become exponentially easier when we have a support system, usually a partner. relate back to the first point – i have an equal amount of friends where the woman is the better at “keeping the job” than the man. it works, and life is easier for the both.
at the very least i know very few “couples” in which both parties work and the salary and hours are equitable. (one person is always stronger at holding the job and pulling higher earnings) it works, and life is easier for the both.
and when i am really wallowing in self-pity because of the DDD, i “try” to remind myself that there is always someone worse off financially and always someone better off. of course that doesn’t always do the trick, but if i can push myself to look at the more unfortunate, i sometimes regain perceptive. my bank account does not increase, but i can face another day.
needless to say, but i will say it anyway, if you look around at the issue you might realize you are in good company.
my tone is serious because my son and i live hand to mouth. i do always enjoy your blog, even when i can not discern your tone. especially enjoyed the bit about the threadbare advice. older people love to give me a perfunctory “it will get better”. it may or may not, but i guess it doesn’t hurt to hope.
after all “the world is a beautiful place” http://www.poetseers.org/poetry/the_world_is_beautiful/
there is an even older anonymous poem entitled something like “there is still beauty to be found” – maybe one of your readers knows it?
I concur that hard work does not always correlate with high wages. In fact, I’d say that the overwhelming majority of the world’s population works very hard for meager returns, and I suppose it’s been that way throughout history. Working hard does not equal working smart.
As the saying goes, “Wealth is when small efforts produce big results; poverty is when big efforts produce small results.” This may not prove 100% accurate in all cases, but the wrong efforts—no matter how small or titanic—certainly lead nowhere.
Whether or not life is easier in pairs depends (a) on one’s personality type and (b) on the nature of one’s issues. Just as one cannot alleviate a Vitamin B-12 deficiency by taking iron supplements but only by taking B-12, an unlimited supply of love and hugs may work great to cure LHDD (Love and Hugs Deficit Disorder), but it’ll hardly heal an infected tooth, allay the hunger pangs of a person who hasn’t eaten in weeks, or put money in the bank. If someone can’t breathe and is turning blue, fixing that person a sandwich won’t do much good; which is not to say that there’s anything inherently “wrong” with dispensing food or love, only that in order for a treatment to take, the treatment must fit the condition.
I find that, on balance, companionship actually compounds the burden of living an unfulfilled life. For if I surround myself by loving people, yet I continue to be unhappy and unfulfilled for reasons which love and affection cannot eliminate, these loving people will soon begin to feel sad, perhaps even guilty, for not being able to help me, thus boosting my stress levels, because then I’ll feel sad and guilty for not being able to assist them in helping me, and veritable pressure feedback loop kicks in.
And yes, there are always people worse off, both financially and otherwise. If I were an emaciated inmate in a Nazi concentration camp having pain experimentation performed upon me, I’d wish that being perpetually broke were my only problem. Still, I never found the could-be-worse approach particularly effective as a problem-solving strategy.
Yes, the world is a beautiful place. Looking at it from behind bars (real or figurative) doesn’t make it less beautiful; it just puts a bit of a wet blanket over the planet.
All the above notwithstanding, we are debating the motion that if GID is a medical condition, then DDD—unless brought on by incarceration, compulsive shopping, gambling, substance abuse, mental retardation, or other manifest secondary causes—is a medical condition as well.
here it is: http://www.desideratacard.com/
“desiderata”, desired things
If one fails to attain what one desires, how to tell if one desires it too intensely or not badly enough?
People’s advice in this area always seems to flip-flop between the two, sometimes in mid-conversation. First they tell you the reason you haven’t achieved it is that you don’t want it badly enough. Two minutes later they tell you the reason you haven’t achieved it is that you want it too badly.
I guess nobody knows. I don’t know either.
oh peter,
yes people knows, they just don’t shares. f * them. some things you have to live to understand. i never thought i would come to examine poverty or reasons for wealth.
DDD’s existence or definition is relative to the government or political system. duh.
the only words at my grasp, “you are receiving information/advice from people who have not experience what you write about”. some things need to be felt to be known.
do not buy into the “blame the victim mentality” that is so rampant in this protestant, capitalist society. you know yourself best. you are doing the best you can. there are reasons.
DDD, as I describe it, is the long-term inability of an individual to make a living unless engaged (“trapped”) full-time in highly unfulfilling activities which greatly diminish that individual’s quality of life and without hope or prospect of improvement.
All I’m saying is that if frustration over being the wrong sex is a medical condition, then frustration over not being able to get one’s professional act together is a medical condition as well.
None of this has anything to do with our government/political system nor with whatever mentality may be rampant in our “protestant, capitalist society.”
o.k. peter. it’s your opinion and your blog. but DDD “as you describe it” tongue in cheek is related to environment and/or the individual.
not the greatest resource for knowledge but a simple read…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socialism
you refer to people with GID as victims yet to get equal status for DDD one would have to be acknowledged as a victim of a sickness… hence the “blame -the-victim” reference with which you may be unfamiliar?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victim_blaming
simply put different societies would view DDD differently. “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” from the Buddhists.
overpopulation = bad, vegetarianism = good, working ass off and getting no where = has nothing to do with society (huh?)
very much a case of “is vs ought”. DDD blog is about adjusting to the ought?
i applaud any hard working person devoid of vices such as you describe and would rather call the society which labels that individual as lazy and leaves that person without hope of improvement the sick party.
how about a funny acronym for that?
If I’m a “victim” then I’m the victim of a mental disorder that causes me to make all the wrong choices in life which results in my being broke all the time unless I wait stupid tables. I fail to see how “society” fits into the equation. What’s society supposed to do? Pay me a full-time salary for maintaining a blog?
if you prefer to see yourself as a victim of DDD, that’s up to you.
some people do have mental disorders that affect their ability to earn a living and “make all the wrong choices” as you describe. sometimes the stress of earning a living can bring on depression and anxiety. chicken or egg?
it is also true that some people simply suck at earning a living (and there is no shame in that), which is the point i was trying to make about life being exponentially easier when people are in pairs and they can “combine forces” as they say.
i don’t see an able bodied person who works as many hours as you as a victim or mentally deficit. there is an inequity in any society that allows someone to work that hard and still live hand to mouth.
if saddens me to think anyone should be called lazy or consider themselves unfit because they live in a society that does not reward hard work.
i think that you are not being told this enough. you have misunderstood the term “blame-the-victim.”
have you heard the term “hospitality industry”? in some countries you must go to school for this trade, it is reputable and people can survive on what they earn.
it’s clear that money is not the only issue, if you could make tons of money and live comfortably waiting tables, you might still consider this “stupid”.
please read the “blame -the-victim” link. it might help. what is society supposed to do? how about giving a person willing to work a chance to earn a full-time salary?
I read the “blame the victim” link. Then I looked for the “blame society” entry, but I couldn’t find it.
in the blame the victim link, first paragraph: “It is also about blaming individuals for their personal distress or for social difficulties, rather than the other parties involved or the overarching social system in place.”
In the “blame society” link (if there were one), first paragraph:
“It is also about blaming other parties or the overarching social system for an individual’s personal distress or social difficulties, rather than to acknowledge that individuals are the masters their own fate.”
You can play the blame game in both directions. I call it the lame game.
I may address the “blame the victim” issue in a future blog post.
please do.
i think if you threw away all blame and chose the word responsibility you might be happier.
remember i am 14 yrs. in the future with the same lack of money issue (and worse).
the topic might be “masters of our fate” or “victims of destiny”?
maybe think Karma, did you do something to deserve this? i did NOT.
I’m all in favor of resposibilty. Personal responsibility, that is. That’s my conservative streak.
Liberally-minded people tend to fault society for everything short of—and sometimes including—the weather. It’s been like that since the dawn of civilization.
Regarding karma, I like the concept, but so far I haven’t seen much evidence to support it.
he, he, he, thats funny. a stereotype, but funny. what a funny image, a liberal caveman throwing stones at his fellow cavemen because of the weather!
so does that mean only a liberal would blame global warming on society?
do you really have a conservative streak?
you’ve bumped heads on the hannibal blog with someone (disregarding labels) who considers themselves conservative. i’ll let you guess who that might be.
If you’re referring to Douglas the Omnivore, may I remind you that he rejected my religiously tinged quotation about humans being “put” on this planet and launched into an impassioned defense of Darwinism. Not exactly an arch-conservative argument on his part.
Yes, liberals tend to consider climate change as a man-made phenomenon. Conservatives generally don’t. Because if they did, they’d have to agree to taking counter-measures, which, alas, may cut into the bottom line of certain industries. If, on the other hand, global warming is due to a natural climate cycle, then it is beyond man to fix it, and we can keep pumping coal dust into the atmosphere to our hearts’ content.
And yes, I do have a very conservative streak in addition to my very liberal streak. Food-wise I’m a vegetarian. Politically I’m an omnivore.
How come streak doesn’t rhyme with steak?
The same reason that donkey doesn’t rhyme with monkey.
:)
In your neck of the woods, does Cheri rhyme with Mary, marry, or merry?
Ah… here you all are.
There is a Rabbit hole between blogs. Bits, and pieces of consciousness, transcending the confines of my world and appearing in others worlds.
Mine is the defiance disorder.
If you want it too, be ready to do battle.
I love to discover but cannot stand to be told; so I defy till I break or discover.
And back he went into…
Your defiance disorder sounds more like poetry disorder.
A poetry disorder… from my lack of rime or proper metaphor?
It’s true, however,
I can neither remember nor produce the lines of a sonnet.
It simply defies me.
A poetry disorder defined as an inclination towards poetic expression, not as an qualitative evaluation thereof. Just as defiance disorder simply means a tendency towards defiance without taking into account the patient’s actual skill at being defiant. (Effective defiance is not as easy as it sounds.)
Then let it be an efficient inclination with no claim to effectiveness.
A bit like poetic pulmonary hyperventilation or poetic heart fibrillation; a lot of effort and very little result.
It is my hope that quantity shall one day turn into quality.