Wall Street almost drove the whole country into the ground. On the flip side, even the most ayatolloid Che Guevara T-shirt-wearing leftist would have to admit to the physical prettiness of New York City’s Financial District, this grid-less labyrinth of narrow European-style streets wending their way between beautifully architectured mostly pre-war buildings whose sheer height nevertheless renders the scenery uniquely New York. …
Archive » 2010 » March
Felicitations on the Lesser of Two Feats
By Cyberquill • 03/28/2010 • 8 CommentsBirds do it, bees do it, squirrels do it. All animate entities on this planet—and most likely extraterrestrials as well—are programmed by nature to multiply. Procreation happens automatically. It requires no special training, no talent, no skill, and no higher intellect. In all of nature, there’s no such thing as “too dumb to procreate.” Any living being too dumb to produce offspring would also be too dumb to respire or to convert sunlight into chlorophyll, i.e., be non-viable right out of the gate. …
Audition Clips
By Cyberquill • 03/20/2010 • 6 CommentsSince “starved actor” will look a trillion times more flattering on my tombstone than “starved waiter,” I’ve scoured my nostalgia folder for some spiffy audition clips. By virtue of posting them here and designating them as such, yours truly has officially become a starving actor again. …
Address (Where You Live)
By Cyberquill • 03/17/2010 • 8 CommentsYesterday I received my 2010 Census form in the mail. Didn’t I just read somewhere that they were looking for census workers to knock on doors and ask personal questions? So then wherefore this form in my mailbox? …
NYC Waiter Decapitates Himself with Steak Knife in front of Horrified Diners
By Cyberquill • 03/15/2010 • 12 CommentsI used to mind very much going table to table, ragged out in a dopey apron and tie, asking strangers some personal questions about their dinner preferences, yet minding it didn’t prevent me from having a rather extensive past doing precisely that. So why should the fact that I would certainly mind shuffling door to door and interviewing strangers about the number of cohabitants they keep stashed in their closets prevent me from having a future as a census worker? …
Not Tonight with Conan O’Brien
By Cyberquill • 03/12/2010 • 12 Comments“It was either a massive 30-city tour or start helping out around the house,” said Conan O’Brien, announcing his upcoming Legally Prohibited From Being Funny On Television Tour. As soon as the tour wraps up and his contractual television ban expires, Mr. O’Brien is expected to return to the small screen and essentially do the same show he’s been doing for 17 years, only on a different network. …
Serious Only Need Apply
By Cyberquill • 03/01/2010 • 18 CommentsIf you’re just goofing around, applying won’t suffice. In addition, you’ll have to come in for an interview, undergo job training, and perhaps even show up for work every day. If you’re serious, all you have to do is apply, and you’re done. Or could it be the dangling only refers to the serious and not to the act of applying? …
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